is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
