i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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