She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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