I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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