Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize