Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
accomplished twins. life is a go
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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