I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
