It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Randomize
