i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
