I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
