I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
