they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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