Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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