well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need water and some morals
He shit in the fireplace
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
