sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
