I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
