Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize