38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
