I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
