I'm going to jail i love you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
