Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
