her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
