Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
