i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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