Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
