he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
