Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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