I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
