If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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