What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
