positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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