4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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