I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
