Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dick very happy bro
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
