week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
