Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
