Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
