You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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