No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
