is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
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