He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
