I'm really into asian looking animals
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
