I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
