I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
