Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
