I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
