I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
