hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
