I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
