so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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